where cider meets condensed milk: Of Cruiser Pants and Referees

where cider meets condensed milk

Monday, December 04, 2006

Of Cruiser Pants and Referees

Men's cruiser pants: what is he cruising for? And what man would be able to fit in those shorts if that tiny little woman can wear them? It is helpful of them to label them as Men's, since they aren't modeled as such. Much less confusion than with Men's Pocky, which is made with bitter chocolate, or Men's Latte, which is espresso taste. And... men are strong and bitter? Logic what?

"Pants" apparently means "underpants" in every country but America, and is also 'pantsu' in Japanese. It took me a few months to clue in. I do remember a highly awkward conversation where my principal noted that I changed my clothing after biking to school. As I was wearing a skirt, I explained that I needed to wear pants while biking. I just chalked up his reaction to my perpetual faux-pas-force-field, but in retrospect I'm horrified at myself. Would you walk up to your boss and tell him, "I'm not wearing any underwear," even if he were hot enough to be a Calvin Klein Cruiser Pants model? No, hussy, you wouldn't. Now I will only say trousers, which has less to do with Anglophilia than not inadvertently saying dirty things for which I should be charging 199yen a minute.

So, this is the only photo I took in Hiroshima, but the weekend had nothing to do with Cruiser Pants. I saw some friends, had okonomiyaki and gossip, and took a dull Japanese test. Most of the day was spent sitting and waiting and resting and waiting and listening to instructions. Then again, maybe they repeat the Instructions For Morons so many times because so many people who take the test do stupid things. After multiple warnings to not open the booklets, the girl next to me promptly flips hers open, and the puffy-haired proctor promptly gives her a yellow card. They set it up like it's a football match, even though we are all sitting silently and there is little, if any, danger of a headbutt. No one got a red card, and no one vomited during the test as happened 2 years ago. (For the record, that will get you a yellow card. And if you leave the room, you forfeit the test completely, whether it was you or your seatmate that spewed all over the place. In that case, everyone stayed in the overheated room, and the rest of us quietly gagged until time was up.) I know Puffy was just hoping for a bit of drama, as it must be a bit embarassing to be a referee in a Japanese test. At least with any other language there might be some ruffians or some cuss words being thrown around, but no such luck with Nihongo and all of us dorks that study it. Gambatta, ne...

posted by Raychaa @ 10:32 PM

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