where cider meets condensed milk: Welcome to Patong.

where cider meets condensed milk

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Welcome to Patong.

You might be in a classy hostel if...

Went out on Khao San road during my brief night in Bangkok. Chris, Elisabeth and I went to a pub/bar/meatmarket, and quizzed each other with the *Hooker or Ho?* game for most of the Thai chicks in there. Must've been a slow night-- not nearly enough dirty men to balance out the odds, so when Elisabeth and I hit the dance floor, it was us in sea of (possible) ladies-of-the-night.

I flew to Phuket (riding high in style, Annabelle says) in the morning, and met April there, who bought a bus ticket from a man selling on a card table in a muddy corner of the bus station parking lot. Paid way too much for a decently nice room on Ao Karon-- though it had satellite tv and hot water (hallelujah!), we were forced to escort a cockroach outside nonetheless. We wanted to be out of Bangkok to ring in 2006, and originally imagined a chill, quiet night on the water. Plans changed, and we ended up in the heart of Patong beach. Welcome to the jungle...

We arranged to meet up with some boys from Vancouver that we had met earlier, but got lost and couldn't find them at our meeting place. April and I hung out on the quiet beach for a bit, and did our best friendly-yet-needing-to-escape conversation routine with some older Hungarian men amidst the balloon launches.

We were wondering about what happens when all these balloons sail back down into the ocean the following day. Probably an endangered turtle would choke on one, only to be rescued by a dolphin, who, in her haste to help the turtle, would jump into a tuna net and end up as a can of Chicken of the Sea. Oishii yo! In some brush with serendipity, we ran into our friends an hour later in a different part of town, and went for drinks where the ladyboys play.

These are our buddies from Vancouver-- Jesse (left) and Fred (right). They're both traveling on long holidays from their jobs. Having a mixed group is the best way to navigate Patong, as April and I alone kept getting hassled or approached by weird men, and the boys said that the more aggressive hostess girls would grab and/or grope them and try to drag them into the bars.

And here is the avenue of ladyboys. At this moment, the girls are being rather PG -- we were close to the main street, which is the safest place to be since the bars got seedier and scarier as you ventured further back. However, these ladies were fully post-op, and were willing to show that off to... everyone. If you were a guy and made eye contact or took a picture, they'd force you buy them a drink or give a tip.

Typical hostess bar along the main drag-- "Good food! Clean ice! Clean toilets" is what they advertise, plus a little cartoon white dude with an asian girl in his arms. Ah, feels like being home.

Fireworks on the beach and away from the bars. I managed to miss the official countdown for the 3rd year in a row. Throughout the night firecrackers kept going off in the middle of the street, and sometimes right under your feet, at which point you'd have to run for the sidewalk.

The Tiger... rowr. It was a really fun club, but would have been better if they had played something besides 3 straight hours of techno! Had a few Thai men befriend our group, one of whom took quite a shine to Jesse, to his amusement. They taught us something in Thai-- sawadee pii mai!! (Happy new year!)

Patong was a much different scene than Koh Phangan, where I spent last new year's. Phangan is just a gaijin ghetto on the beach, whereas Patong is a diverse group of western foreigners, asian foreigners, young thais, ladyboys, hostess girls, sex workers and the revolting men who pay for and love them. There was a huge billboard outside of town proclaiming "Phuket is back!" but I hope I never am. Ao Karon (where we stayed, south of Ao Patong) had a handful of girly bars, but wasn't as seedy as Patong.

This is Ao Karon (where we stayed) in the light of new year's day. Gorgeous white sand and fantastic waves close to shore for bodysurfing. Ao Patong looks very similar, only more crowded.

If you want a nightlife, Patong has it, but it's such a weird environment. Of course, much worse things go on in red-light districts all over the world, but this is not a red-light district. It's a resort town, and people pay ridiculous sums of money to spend a vacation right on Patong beach. We saw entire families of European tourists, complete with toddlers, walking up and down the main street at 11pm. You wouldn't bring your baby along to a brothel, but why does the facade of Patong make it alright? Maybe most people, like our group, were there for the carnival aspect of it all. It was fun for an evening, but we couldn't leave fast enough in the morning.

posted by Raychaa @ 12:57 PM

3 comments:

At 11:49 AM, Anonymous said…

it's all about being a champange backpacker in patong...living the high life on airaisa.... ;)
At 4:59 PM, pallaver said…

fantastic reading and pictures Rachel. See you soon, probably earlier than naked man I figure...
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