where cider meets condensed milk: February 2007

where cider meets condensed milk

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

N-A, K-E-D, Nakedmanfestival is the way to be!

Hadaka Matsuri in a sentence: 10,000 men put on fundoshi (sumo thong) and tabi (ninja-turtle shoes), run around yelling "Wasshoi," drink sake, cleanse themselves by hopping into cold cold cold water, crowd into a temple, sway back and forth like boy-seaweed in a current, and then beat each other up to catch a lucky stick at midnight. In a second sentence: The rest of us perverts ("cultural observers") drink and watch.

A few of my lovelies: A-belle, Marie and Gary (of Baan Unrak fame) came from afar, to drink amazaki... and display pregnancies. I have a bizarre picture of Gary from Christmas that would have been great, if not for a completely ghetto Santa stomach-- I think it was just a balloon held in the waist of Gary's Santa trousers. I looked at the picture and thought: "Cute house mother! Gary Claus! Gary's gigantic abdominal tumour!" Ho ho ho, Santa's Little In-Need-of-Surgery Patient is back, and he's wearing a raincoat!

The man behind the email curtain: Lackey, with both ears intact for the occasion. Birdie Glass worked her magic and got an *unexplained* discount on deluxe buses. Nicole was the Money Wench. Bob was, as always, the Glue, because nothing can fall apart when he is around.

Hey, who brought Bird Flu all the way to the Saidaiji? Wasn't me, wasn't Sharky, was it that devilish Dimple? Muah ha, everyone knows that wet, naked people are more susceptible to sickness. Cluck cluck, who's got a fever?

Jarek and I headed back to the buses, and while I was outside directing lost/late people, the buses took off without me. This led to a panicked call, some yelling by Birdie and Eric to get the driver to stop, and a long sprint through the rain. I hopped on, and we got glares from the driver for the ride back. Sweet. But, really, nothing went awry, there was a TV camera crew on the boys' bus, (and a TVman that kept declaring himself as Vasco's New Best Friend), we raised money for the shelter, I pulled my first all-nighter in ages, and... yeah, did I mention the 10,000 men part? Kid in a candy store, yo, minus all the creepiness that image might evoke. Oh, and most of the "candies" were 40 year-old J-men. (Who wants old manju?) We had to head to Aussie Bar to get the selection of imported sweets. And, yes, as usual, I could have chosen a better analogy.

As fun as it was, my first impulse is to say that helping organize the event was a pain in the ass. But, since I didn't have to run around all night tightly wrapped into a fundoshi, I really have NO idea what that means. Probably all you runners do...

posted by Raychaa @ 6:08 PM 1 comments

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Nowhere to go but down

Annabelle lives on Shikoku, which is what you would get if you put Missouri and all its neighbors onto an island for several centuries, and then suddenly built a bridge across to the mainland and wondered why everyone who came across talked funny. If you are a visitor, you call her town Ka-non-ji. If you're a local, you say "KOWnj," and if you live there and are over the age of 55, you also swallow the second half of every Japanese word you speak. The Kownj is a bunch of paved-pararicepaddy-put-up-a-combini-lot towns all smushed into one "city" by the sea. It contains everything your heart desires... if your heart desires any of these things:

1) The CIRCUS! The CIRCUS! We're going to the Picadilly *coughpachinkocough* CIRCUS!

2) Tub o' lard. I am talking about the silver buckets on the left, thanks very much.

3) Famous cheezu mochi. What's that? Processed (no other kind in this country) cheese inside mochi, which is then fried. May contribute to development of nicknames such as listed in point #2.

posted by Raychaa @ 6:32 PM 3 comments

Monday, February 12, 2007

Doraemon says...

After my 3rd visit to the post office last week made me cry for the 2nd time, I went to my town bakery. Must have looked as sad and defeated as I felt, because the baker gave me this tasty little guy, filled with chocolate (not red beans)!!

And so, after two and a half somewhat turbulent years in Japan, I'm making plans to move on. The ALT job has been good to me, but... no surprise, I didn't recontract. Just getting by in any job and any social scene is hard enough, but made harder when you feel stupid and incompetent when trying to do simple tasks, and your social interactions are so few and far between that you forget how to make conversation seem natural. I talk to the postmaster more often than my parents. The people I see with the most regularity are 2 senior citizen guys at my gym, whom I would call "friends" if only I knew their names. And if only we talked about more than the weather and what workouts we were doing that day. ("Weight machines?" "No, just the treadmill and then a swim, how about you?")

I've only had one passing thought about staying. On a midterm-test day, I was allowed to teach at the nursery school. It was fun and games and songs all day, with two snacktimes and mandatory naps for kids and the less-important teachers, and I haven't used that much Japanese in ages. Fantastic! I drifted off to sleep on the futons, surrounded by all the little children in their flannel jammies, and when the headmaster gently rang the wake-up bell for snacktime, I was groggy and happy. I could do this for another year, I thought! And then I realized that it wouldn't be my job if I recontracted, since I'd more likely be teaching 5 classes a day at the elementaries. Damn. Unemployed by August. Professional volunteer work, here I come.

posted by Raychaa @ 11:55 PM 1 comments

Monday, February 05, 2007

Who's Bringin' Bird Flu Back?

Worst. Drink. Ever.

What is it? The bartender called it the day's special, and then snickered. Welcome to Takahashi, where your blue, fizzy, yogurt-flavored alcoholic "special" soda on ice may require a quick vaccination: anyone fancy a glass of Tori Influenza?

Takahashi confirmed cases of bird flu this week, which has meant a mass slaughter of all local poultry and occasional surveillance of the Kawakami area by helicopter. Do they really need a helicopter to spot runaways? Any stray would be chased and chopped by a granny with a walker and a sashimi knife, surely. Do they think a chicken is going to hitch a ride down the 180 and sneeze on all its friends in Soja? Maybe the helicopter is meant to see what is coming IN to the town, so that there will be someone to blame. Like... oh... maybe an UNCLEAN FOREIGNER transporting germs from an UNCLEAN FOREIGN COUNTRY? Like... oh... maybe that ALT chick who just went to Thailand? Wasn't Dimple coughing and clucking while trying to sneak past quarantine? Blame Dimple!!

Chickens in the fridge, y'all. This is the face of Bird Flu.

posted by Raychaa @ 12:23 AM 2 comments

So wrong it's right. And then wrong. And then wrong again... welcome to the inaka.

About Me

Name: Raychaa
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About Me: “No man, not even a doctor, ever gives any other definition of what a nurse should be than this - 'devoted and obedient'. This definition would do just as well for a porter. It might even do for a horse. It would not do for a policeman.” (Florence Nightingale)
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